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FinDOM or FinDON’T?

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I recently came across an article in the Sun News Online which I think is worth discussing:

“Blackmailed on the Internet, 19-year-old Quebec man commits suicide”


He wasn’t a man. He was a young boy who was just beginning his journey in this world. Click here to read the full story.

This story isn’t specifically about Financial Domination, but it is frighteningly close, and easily could have been. Thanks to the internet, the Findom fetish is exploding at an alarming rate. Nearly anyone is able to practice Financial Domination, since it requires no special training, experience or equipment. All you need is an internet connection and a computer with a webcam (aka every laptop released in the past 5 years).

I need to be very clear that I am not opposed to Financial Domination or real FinDommes. I use the word ‘real’, because I believe there is an enormous distinction between actual Dommes who enjoy and are skilled at prying open the wallets of paypigs for mutual benefit and enjoyment, and those who will do whatever they can to exploit and terrorize their mark into sending money that they truly can’t afford to.
I practice Findom myself with some of My slaves. For Me, it’s about their surrender. It’s about trust. It’s about an extreme power transfer. Do I enjoy making them uncomfortable and perhaps even instilling a little fear in them? Of course I do, and they enjoy it as well. I would never attempt to truly ‘ruin’ or ‘destroy’ them though. Sadly, not all people practicing this particular fetish feel the same way. For some, milking every cent possible using any means possible is the ultimate goal. This doesn’t sit well with Me at all.

I often take control of My slave’s finances. I do this for a number of reasons. First, it really is an extreme form of power exchange, so following through with it establishes a very real commitment and dedication. Let’s face it, assets and income are often tied to self-worth with most men. A man who relinquishes control of something that defines him so deeply (whether consciously or not) is making an enormous gesture.

I will also take control of a slave’s finances to help them. Many people are terrific at earning money but terrible at managing it. By having control of a slave’s finances I’m able to make sure they are no longer wasting ridiculous amounts of money on alcohol, drugs, gambling, fast food, paid internet porn, etc. Now, do I take some of that money and put it into My personal account? Abso-fucking-lutely? There’s no point in making it seem like My only motives are altruistic in nature. Of course I care about My slaves, but at the end of the day I deserve to be spoiled at their expense.

This is, I believe, where the fine line lies. The line that is likely very difficult to see, and the line that is all-too-often crossed. This line is what separates FinDommes from exploitative people who are essentially conducting non-consensual financial rape. We need to remain cognizant of the difference between consensual financial domination and exploitation. The former is fun and exciting, the latter is dangerous and (in My opinion) wrong.

What do I feel is wrong about it? Many men will send incriminating images and video of themselves to their Findomme. Part of the exhilaration for many of them is to then have the threat of these images being used against them as blackmail. “Send Me Money or your boss and your wife get this in their email tonight!”. Fun fantasy, shitty reality. If you are unable to determine whether or not someone can handle the fear of being exposed, I strongly suggest that it is avoided. Young Maxime was a case in point.

As I said before, there is a line, and it is far from being a straight one. Just like with any scene it is imperative to know the interests and limits of the slave or sub you are dealing with, paypigs are no different. I would not chain a slave to a St. Andrews Cross and cane them until blood flows unless I knew that they were an extreme masochist and could handle that sort of attention. Likewise, a good FinDomme will not overstep with fear and blackmail tactics, or take more money from her paypig than he can’t realistically afford to pay.

Now we are left with the question of money: how much is too much? Truly, that differs greatly for each individual and is based on variables such as their income, their financial obligations, marital status, etc. Destroying someone means that you can’t come back and play with them another day. Catch and release is so much more fun. Take what you can, and what is feasible, and leave them to swim away, thinking they have narrowly escaped doom. The surprised look of “I can’t believe I’m back here” when they land on My hook again is priceless.

One more note about ruining and destruction. I have many slaves that I own, appreciate, and cherish. I also own a house, vehicles, and many items that I treasure. I treat these possessions very well because they are Mine, and I value them. I know that the better care I give them, the better care I will receive from them over time. It’s symbiotic. Most paypigs tend not to be owned property, which raises the following question: what right does anyone have to destroy something that isn’t theirs? I refuse to ruin or destroy My own property, and that’s My choice. If I choose to ruin or destroy someone else’s property, some might consider that a crime. At the very least, it’s wrong.

For those paypigs who are looking to have their fetish fulfilled, I can’t suggest strongly enough for you to do your homework. Don’t seek out your FinDomme when you are highly aroused and ready to hand over your wallet. Do it when you are thinking a little more clearly with the head above the collar. Look for a genuine Pro or Lifestyle Domme, or find a FinDomme with scruples, brains and credibility. Once you find a suitable Woman, build some trust and rapport. Take some time and don’t hand over everything all at once. Once you do trust Her, and if She will have you, you can blissfully hand over control of your finances. you will be a better man for it, and your paypig fetish will be perpetually fulfilled.

© Lady Azelle

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