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Pro Domme Relationship Etiquette

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your relationship with a Pro Domme may not be a romantic relationship, but it is a relationship nonetheless. Within any relationship; friendship, romantic, professional, or otherwise, there are some unwritten rules that help to ensure smooth sailing.

Most people who visit Me tend to open up and share some deeply personal things about themselves. Things they have not shared with their spouse or their best friend. It might seem odd that someone who has never seen Me outside of a professional setting would bare their soul, but it’s really not. Consider that most individuals who visit Me are already sharing deeply held desires. They are already sharing things with Me that they simply can’t share with anyone else in their life. It’s only natural that they would feel comfortable sharing other aspects of their lives that they feel they can’t share with others.

There are likely very few confidantes out there better than a Pro Domme. A good Dominatrix is non-judgmental, empathetic, has well developed listening skills, and a background in social sciences. They also realize that part of their professional responsibility is to ensure the safety of their clients both physically and emotionally. I always ensure discretion. I have encountered slaves in public but would never acknowledge them or disclose to someone that we had sessioned or otherwise communicated, even within the fetish community. I have had situations where a wife will e-mail or call requesting information about how and if I know their partner but again, My professional ethics ensure confidentiality at all times in all situations (except perhaps when a client discloses intentions to self-harm but that may be another blog).

Another area that seems to cause some discomfort (and not the kind I inflict and enjoy) with clients is the topic of seeing other Dommes. I find it endearing that nearly every boy or girl who brings this up does so with an air of apology. Bottom line: if I don’t own you, then you are free to see whomever you like. I do realize there can be a sense of ownership and loyalty that is implied. For example: I have been visiting the same hairdresser for over 4 years. If I happen to visit another for a change or out of convenience, I haven’t done anything wrong, but I might feel like I betrayed My regular stylist. I certainly wouldn’t sit in his chair and talk about what a great experience I had while not having My hair cut by him.

That, right there, is the key. Feel free to see whomever you like, and enjoy it guilt free. I like hearing about the things a slave enjoys and needs or the training that has been completed in other sessions. I have learned a lot from clients telling Me about past sessions and how other Dommes conduct sessions. What I don’t enjoy is being told how other Dommes do thing as a manipulative ploy. i.e. “Every other Domme I’ve ever seen has allowed a release” or “Every other Domme I talked to agreed to use their strap-on while topless”. I simply don’t want to hear it. I am open to suggestions and ideas (as long as you ask permission to speak first) but bottom line is that every Domme has their own style and we tend to like to do things Our own way.

In any relationship, honesty and communication are key. This is even more important when the Woman you are communicating with has you bound and gagged and is inflicting all sorts of wondrous sensations upon you. I’m not talking about sharing your real name (although I do prefer calling people by their real names as it makes the connection feel more real); I’m talking about being honest about your interests and limits. If those change, you need to convey that. Tell Her what you enjoyed about your time with Her (We all love to hear this, so don’t be shy about following up). In the same vein, be sure to tell Her about anything that you didn’t enjoy or that made you uncomfortable.

Many boys hop from Domme to Domme hoping for the perfect experience without ever really opening up about what they really want, expecting that they will magically experience the ‘perfect’ session. This could happen, it’s not impossible, but it is much more likely with open communication and honesty. It can take time to find the right match and the right chemistry, someone who will instinctively respect your limits and push them at the same time. It is common for My clients to feel ashamed and embarrassed about their fetishes. It is always My hope that a session with Me allows boys to explore parts of themselves in a safe and accepting environment. On the other hand, if you feel unsafe, uncomfortable or generally don’t feel a good connection, don’t be afraid to end the session before it’s finished. You have the right to have a good experience.

Any relationship is a dynamic, living thing. Whether you are visiting a Pro Domme once or seeing Her on a regular basis, the same rules will apply to keep that relationship mutually enjoyable. Be open. Be honest. Treat Her with respect, trust Her and you will be able to submit with ease.

© Lady Azelle

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